Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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