so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
