have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
