Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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