i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
