I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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