I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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