her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Small penises have feelings too.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
