OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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