Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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