the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
