the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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