Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
