is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
