Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
My penis needs a shock collar
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize