I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize