my sisters under your porch take her home
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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