Capitaan dildo arrescate!
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize