I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
