remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
