I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize