no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
