i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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