hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
