Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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