im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
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