I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize
