I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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