Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
