I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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