Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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