You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Randomize