Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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