New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
