She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
My vagina is very pro this idea
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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