you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
