that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
