Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
