YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
