Me. At least after what I've been through.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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