i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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