You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
