Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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