i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
