remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
