Where are you?
In a non slutty way
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
