we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
