what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
