Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
