ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
This is my life. Enjoy the view
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
