i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
