"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
