i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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