we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
time to smoke my breakfast
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A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
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On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
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