dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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