bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
