Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
