At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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