It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
He is an equal opportunity slut.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
